The Salt & Sage guide to meaningless marketing bullshit (and what words to use instead)

Personas. Avatars. Funnels. Mission, vision, values, USP. WTF?! Jargon is part of any job and is the best way to communicate with industry peers. But the reality is that it can make things seem less clear. If your head is spinning at the mention of all these marketing terms you’ll have come across while building your brand, you’re not alone. That’s why we’ve created our antidote to meaningless marketing bullshit. Join us as we translate the most annoying jargon into clear, simple language so we can speak the language of business owners and brands on a level that works for us all.

If you work in marketing, the acronyms and marketing buzzwords above are everyday terms that are part of the unique lingo that gets the job done. But what if you’re shit-hot at running your business and building your brand – and don’t know anything about marketing? You may feel unclear about what’s going on when it comes to your branding, marketing and sales strategy. It’s not just you – marketing and PR is the fourth-most confusing industry for outsiders or newcomers, shown by the number of Google search terms used by people to help them understand various phrases.

First, a disclaimer. No marketers were harmed in the writing of this blog. Before we rip up the marketing buzzwords we find the most irritating, please understand that we don’t hate marketing or marketers. Far from it! We are on the marketing spectrum – a writer-marketer-communicator hybrid. We are a copywriting service and spend our days creating copy and content for brands, so they can connect to their ideal clients and customers and sell more of the services and products.

The difference is that, because we’re former journalists, we come at marketing and sales copy from an editorial point of view. We’ve been trained to write pieces that educate, engage or inform an audience in a way that’s simple, clear and easy to understand, without promoting a particular product or service. But we’ve crafted our own special sauce that bridges the gap between editorial and marketing: copy and content that gives value to specific audiences in a way that feels more authentic and credible than a purely sales-driven approach.

Like you, we’re building a brand, too. That’s why it’s important to us to speak the language of business owners: people or audience, not avatars, sales gardens, not pipelines. Let’s flip the script on jargon and speak to businesses and brands on a level that works for us all. 

Here’s a real-life example of how to do this.

One of the things we love most about the people we work with is how much we learn from them. Recently, we were refreshing a client’s web copy. We were discussing how to use words to make people feel, rather than just listing the benefits. 

We mentioned referring back to our client’s client avatars and, without missing a beat, they told us they thought customer personas were a waste of time.

We were a bit shocked (as marketers are always telling us to ‘nail’ our ideal clients by listing everything from what they eat for breakfast to the kind of loo roll they prefer). 

But, as our client was saying, what people watch on TV and where they shop and what they like to read and how they like to exercise doesn’t really reflect how they feel.

We all agreed that if we were labelled by the kind of embarrassing box sets we’re into, for example, we would be ‘funnelled’ (more yucky jargon) into completely the wrong ‘customer persona’. (After all, no one should be judged on the fact they relax by settling down to watch Gladiators on a Saturday night).

We decided then and there that it was time to move away from meaningless marketing bullshit and use real words used by real people.

Here’s our meaningless marketing bullshit cheat sheet.

1 Customer/client avatars/personas/profiles; prospects; and leads

Please. They’re people. Or humans. 

2 Anything to do with sales funnels and pipelines

This is SO outdated. It’s basically the journey your customer or client goes on, from getting to know you, to buying your product and beyond – and it gets more detailed as it progresses. The terms ‘funnel’ and ‘pipeline’ makes the sales process seem pushy rather than organic. We prefer ‘sales journey’ or even ‘sales garden’, where clients and customers have the freedom to stop off on their path of growth.

3 Brands and branding

Branding is NOT just a logo, a catchy slogan and some matching colours. It’s a huge umbrella term that encompasses everything from the very essence of what your business is to the visual elements and your tone of voice (how your brand sounds). It defines the identity, values, and promise of your product or service. It’s about recognition, trust, and creating an experience. At its core, branding is about strategic storytelling for business: a story of who you are, what you stand for, and the unique value you bring to the table.

4 Mission/vision/value proposition/unique selling proposition (USP) 

Just state what you do, who for and why you do it. Simples.

5 Thought shower/blue sky thinking/ideate/circle back/synergy

Phrases like this make us want to do a little bit of sick in our mouths. Where these cringeworthy substitutes for normal words come from we don’t know. There really is no need to water down the language with awkward euphemisms. Stick with good ol’ ‘brainstorming’ or ‘idea generation’, ‘return’ and ‘collaboration’.

Let’s banish the most annoying marketing jargon buzzwords to the annals of history and embrace clear, authentic communication. By focusing on human connection, empathy, and genuine value, we can build stronger relationships with our audience and drive meaningful results for our businesses.

Here’s how to communicate with purpose and authenticity.

Embrace compassion and cognitive empathy

Cognitive empathy that will help you to write the powerful words that will resonate with the right people. Cognitive empathy is when you can see somebody else’s perspective. You have to figure out the other person. They are different from you and have different preferences and different needs. It’s about stepping into their shoes and trying to see the world from their point of view.

Be curious 

Speak to the people you have had success with or gelled most with, or talk to those who you’d love to work with or would be a good fit. Create your questions and offer options to respond with your client in mind – some may have time to reply to an online questionnaire, others may prefer a chat in the car before they pick their kids up from school. 

Listen

Really listen to your audience’s stories, and understand why they may need your service or product. Note the phrases they use. Pay special attention to the feelings they have when faced with their challenges and, crucially, the transformation they might have after working with you or buying your product, and how they feel about that.

Don’t forget to be human yourself 

  • Be real: authenticity is about saying what the reader needs to hear, not what they want to hear.

  • Be empathic: let your audience know that you understand them, that you’ve been in their shoes.

  • Build rapport: by simplifying your language and talking to audiences as equals.

  • Be open and honest: this is how to build solid relations based on trust. Your About page is a wonderful way to do this.

By focusing on clarity, simplicity, and genuine value, we can cut through the noise and connect with our audience on a deeper level. So let’s leave the buzzwords behind and communicate with purpose and intention.

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Conquering content: how to create a strategy, plan with purpose and write with intention